Bikini Volleyball

Being at the beach with the same "other vacationers" around you all week will certainly challenge your faithfulness to discipline your mind regarding issues of modesty and body image!! How quickly we fall into whatever struggles we have in this area... fear, judgment, lust, insecurity...

There is another family staying here who is a family full of cousins, like we are. The father told us the first day here, "This'll be you guys in about fifteen years..." They are all the same family, gathering from different parts of the country for a week every summer. Every day they are playing some serious volleyball - all of them, or some combination thereof - the sexy young men and the sexy young women and the well-preserved older aunts and uncles and parents. Every male is tan and rather muscley. Every female is both sporty and shapely... and wearing a bikini. For a volleyball match. You get the picture.

How difficult it is to take a stand for modesty in this current culture. You really do have to be willing to be "different," because the very choice to remain relatively covered is so counter-cultural.

Sometimes even in your own family. Certainly within the family of God.

And, I'm realizing this week, even within your own heart and mind. What's proper? What's improper? What's outside the realm of considerate? What's loving? What's priggish?

When I'm only around my own family, I allow myself to wear a bikini. I am forty-one years old, and about thirty pounds overweight, so I am decidedly not a "stumbling block" for anyone. I wear a cover-up walking to and from the beach, and if I need to walk or play while down there.

This is not something I would do at a community pool party. This is not something I would do at a youth group beach day. But alone with my family, I allow it for myself. Why? Because I look better naked with a little sun on my belly! Pure and simple. Those thirty extra pounds and beautiful baby belly stretch marks fade away significantly when they're nicely tanned. And doesn't my husband deserve that?

Especially when having to navigate his eyes and mind away from the volleyball show going on up the beach every day!

Setting Stakes

I remember reading an article once - years ago when I was a girl - entitled something along the lines of, "A Mom's Advice to Her Daughter Going Off to College." One thing I vaguely recall was something like, "Flossing works. But only if you do it. Like sit-ups, if you quit, the rot sets in." Or perhaps it was vice versa, but you get the idea.

"The rots sets in" quickly, too, I discovered this morning. Every year, when we gather here on the shores of NC for a family reunion, my sister and my father and I go walking early in the mornings before anyone else is up. Our husbands go jogging, and my sister and I take our dogs and our dad and go power walking. Well, that's what we usually do.

This year we did more "walking" and less "power." Why? Because I couldn't handle it... I couldn't keep pace with them, so I slowed them down. My younger sister has always been more sporty than I am, and she continues to work her body to keep it healthy and strong as she approaches forty. My father, although past sixty, has also kept himself extremely fit since his college football days. (He is the kids' official PE teacher, and he works them pretty much to death three days a week.)

Although Dad and I used to walk together every morning, this past year I bowed out in favor of some spiritual, mental, emotional, and practical preparation each weekday morning for the homeschool day ahead. Though this was very good for me in all of those many ways, apparently it wasn't so very good for my body. The "rot" has set in.

And so have about thirty extra pounds. Sometime over the past five years or so, I have slowly gained forty pounds, only ten of which I've managed to take back off. I still weigh about thirty pounds too much, though I'd be content to lose just ten or fifteen more, really. And why is that so difficult? Well, mostly because the things we know we should do in order to stay fit and trim, work, "but only if you do it."

For a variety of reasons I'm sure I'll explore and ponder more deeply as these next weeks go on, I have become a person who doesn't "set stakes in the ground." What do I mean by that? At the homeschool convention we went to, most all of the speakers we heard spoke of acting with purpose and deliberateness. This sort of decisive action has become all but absent in my life. Whether through bad theological teaching, or sound theology improperly understood and applied, or simply the laziness of the flesh, I have become a person who feels that I can't - or shouldn't - determine to do something simply because it should be done, and then set about doing it. This "grace, misunderstood and misapplied" mindset has resulted in a total transformation - and not for the better, either - of the person I tend to naturally be. I am now sometimes paralyzed to act, in ways that I know are good and beneficial and necessary in my life, for fear of being "legalistic" or "missing the grace."

So, whether it is the teaching itself that is just a little bit "off," or just my interpretations of what I think I'm hearing, I am determining to ignore the voices in my head that prevent me from doing so, and to set a few stakes in the ground. One speaker we heard in Richmond spoke of the time early in his life as a father that he vowed, both to God and to his family, "Every day, if (he was) in town and alive, (he was) leading family devotions." I'm sure he missed some days over the years. I'm sure on those days he was grateful for grace. I'm sure he understood that he was not acting in this manner to win God's favor or to earn His love; he simply wanted the blessings and benefits in his family commensurate with being in the Word together on a consistent basis. And I'm sure he got them, in large part because he set the stake in the ground, set the goal, fixed his eyes on the means of grace that would enable this benefit in his and his family's life.

I'm ready to do the same, no matter how many seemingly contradictory messages about "not trying harder" I hear in the meantime. I want to pursue Jesus, yes! I want to know Him more. I know that, "It is God who works in me both to will and to act according to His good purpose" (Philippians 2:13). But I'm ready to cooperate with His work in my heart and in my life with a little decisive action... a little "trying harder," if you will. I need His mercy every moment I fail, and I need it even more every time I succeed, but I'm ready to have it with me as I walk the road of some stakes in the ground.

The first one? I need to get back to some regular physical exercise in my life. This morning revealed to me just how detrimental my neglect of my body has been. I read somewhere about a study demonstrating that regular physical exercise is as effective as anti-depressant medications in treating symptoms of depression. It is no secret that excess weight is more easily controlled with regular exercise, and that people have significantly more energy for the tasks of the day with regular physical activity. Physical exercise reduces stress, the effects of which can be deadly on the body.

So, here's stake #1, established this cloudy Father's Day at the NC shore: Every day that I'm uninjured and alive, I will practice one of the three S's of exercise. Each day will contain either Sixty minutes of intense cardio activity, Sixteen minutes of targeted strength training for a particular part of the body, or Sex (which I will initiate at the end of the day, if one or the other of the other S's didn't happen).

Sounds like a plan... or at least a really great Father's Day gift!

Life Grids

This week, since our return from Richmond, we have not been "doing school" in the normal sense of a regular homeschool day. If you asked my kids, in fact, they might even say they are already on vacation. But they aren't, really. Why? Because of "life grids."

During a normal school day, each of my children has a "grid" he manages, checking off items that are required of him. Certain academic work (like math and language) is expected on a daily basis; other academic work, as they get older, is assigned in weekly chunks, and my kids are required to determine and manage their own time and workload daily, to complete the assigned work over the course of the week. (Think college here.) So, some days they might not do any work in history or science or some other subjects we don't do daily. These items are still on their grids, however, and at the end of the day, they get a "sign off" from one of us parents indicating that all of the items have been checked off (if completed), crossed off (if intentionally not done this particular day), or x'ed off (if not required today).

And here's the deal. Grids work so well that we can't bring ourselves to give them up when we're not "doing school." All of the non-academic items of the grid still need to be done (the "life grid" we call these items), and the grid is simply the easiest and best and most reliable way to manage them. The grid becomes the "slave driver," not me!

So, what sorts of things are on the "life grid"? It varies for each child, but some of the non-negotiables are as follows:

MR (Morning Routine)
Dev (Devotions)
Gath (Gathering)
Piano/Violin
SM (Scripture Memory)
TB (Touch Base)
SR (School Reading)
PE
Chores
FR (Free Reading)
Guitar
5PC (Five-Point Check)
SO (Sign Off)

When we don't do grids, we get "scrambly." (This is a favorite word we've picked up from our piano teacher, to describe when life gets sloppy and ceases to be approached with deliberateness.) When we don't do grids, my kids are begging to play some form of electronic entertainment by 10:00 a.m. (And they'd play them indiscriminately for hours, too, until they finally got off - resentfully - when the "mean mom" asked them to.)

The grids keep us happy. The grids keep us productive. The grids keep my children squarely in charge of learning to be responsible with their time even when someone else isn't telling them what to do with every minute of their day. And best of all, the grids keep me from becoming a nag.

Why do we keep "doing school" during the late spring and over the summer? Because keeping a few academic items on the "life grid" during select weeks of summer isn't difficult, takes little time, keeps our academic skills sharp, and keeps us from being "bored." When we're done, we go swim or play. When we have a social invitation, we skip the academic stuff and take the chance to go visit. But we don't spend hours watching TV or playing electronic gaming devices or getting snippy with each other like we do when there is no grid. It keeps us living the principle that, "Play is a reward for work."

We hope to spare our children from the expectation we ourselves bought, unintentionally, as we lived the lie of adolescence as it is currently practiced in middle America: that one gets 3-4 months "off" every summer from the work the Lord has called him to do. Life doesn't work that way as adults. Why should we train ourselves to expect it to work that way while we're still children?

I'm reminded of something I read by Alex & Brett Harris on the Rebelution website entitled, "'Do Hard Things' Doesn't Mean You Can't Have Fun." They were speaking to a youth group at the time:

Once we realized the impression we were making Alex and I quickly explained that we weren’t “freaks of nature” with a genetic disposition for work. We are a lot like “normal” teenagers. We like sports (we’re short, but we try really hard), we love music, we watch movies, we style our hair, and we even play video games from time to time. But, we have a different way of looking at fun. Here are two principles we try to follow:

1) First Things First

Being a “rebelutionary” does not mean you have erased “fun” from your life. It means that you have relegated it to its proper place. “Do Hard Things” does not eliminate fun, but it elevates, honors, and recognizes the superiority of the activities and pursuits that strengthen, stretch, and grow our character and competence for the glory of God.

We explained to the youth group that night that Alex and I view fun as a break from the “hard things” that we spend the majority of our time doing. Did you catch that? We view fun as a break from hard things. We have fun after we feel that we have accomplished something significant.

Our culture, on the other hand, tells us that we should have fun first and do hard things only “when we have to.” Do you see the difference? It’s all about priorities. We will always prioritize that which is most important to us. A rebelutionary will place “fun” in its proper place, understanding that responsibility to God and others comes first. Our culture spreads the lie that our pleasure, our enjoyment, and our fun is first priority.

Our culture acts like it’s giving us something by allowing and encouraging us to just have fun — but the truth is that when all we care about is “having fun” we’re being robbed. Robbed of contentment in the future, robbed of effectiveness for God, robbed of competence, robbed of character, maybe even robbed of the spouse we’ve always wanted, because we weren’t prepared for them and didn’t deserve them.

A rebelutionary recognizes that what is most valuable isn’t always the most fun. A rebelutionary puts first things first, and second things (like fun) second.

2) Hard Things Can Be Fun

You might (accurately) conclude that Alex and I do fewer “fun things” than the average teen, but you couldn’t say we have less fun. We might spend less time playing video games, going to parties, and just “hangin’ out,” but we also enjoy much of the work we do.

In other words, it is possible to enjoy doing the hard things that develop your character and your competence for the glory of God. Alex and I love delving into the biography of a great man or woman, we love writing, and we love speaking. Which is good because that is what we spend the majority of our time doing!

...The point I want to leave you with is that hard things can be fun — not the way snowboarding is fun — but still in a fulfilling, exciting, and positive way.

These guys are some teens who "get it." I want my kids to be teens who "get it" - who work hard, and then play hard... but in godly ways, in the right proportions, and in that order.

Me, too, for that matter.

Craving...

I really want some Spaghetti a la Greek from Joe's Inn! This is what Iivo and I split for dinner on Friday night, and then again on Saturday, when we were in Richmond for the convention. I knew the first time we ate it, and then wanted the exact same thing the very next day, that we were hooked!

I suppose it is a blessing that this restaurant isn't just up the road, but it is a bummer, too. It was so good that it is the stuff cravings are made of!

If you're ever in Richmond, you must check it out.

"Why I Choose to Homeschool"

I found an article by one of the speakers we heard this week, Gregg Harris, taken from the August 1999 issue of Tabletalk magazine and entitled, "Why I Choose to Homeschool." He's pretty bold. I agree with most of what he says. These are the things I desire for my family, too.

Entertaining Strangers

"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it" (Hebrews 13:1-2).

This weekend we went to the HEAV conference in Richmond. It was wonderful... challenging, convicting, encouraging, invigorating. There are so many things I need to "process" about all we heard, some of which I'm sure I'll do here, but for now, I'm really pondering this verse.

Why? Because this weekend in Richmond, Iivo and I stayed with a total stranger... a friend of a friend, a fellow believer, a "brother" whom we contacted to see if we could stay with him on Friday night. This sort of ministry is something we do all the time, but I'm realizing more and more that it is not something usually practiced easily and freely within the church Body. Even having someone into our home to share a meal can be daunting to many of us, so the thought of hosting overnight guests - particularly ones we don't know - is terrifying. I would like to suggest that it needn't be. We have found it to be a significant blessing, both to ourselves and to our family, whenever we are on the receiving end or the giving end of this experience.

The conference this weekend was not free. The food we had to eat while away from our own kitchen was not free. The home school curriculum I purchased while there was not free. The gas it took to get us there and back was certainly far from free! And so the fact that we did not have to spend further Kingdom money for lodging while we were there was a huge financial blessing to our family.

We are so grateful that this young single guy Rick chose to "not forget to entertain strangers..." in this very low-risk, high-yield sort way. His beautifully-restored 1930's house in the Fan has extra bedrooms in it, and he was happy to have one of them filled for this particular night. What did it cost him? The money it will take him to run the washing machine on our sheets and towels. What did it save us? A lot of money.

But even beyond that, it was a deeper spiritual blessing to both him and to us. We provided opportunity for him to serve the Lord by serving His Body in this way, and he provided us opportunity to humble ourselves by making known our need. And the Lord blessed both of us with an experiential picture of His Body in action. "Keep on loving each other as brothers." Do we really believe that we who call ourselves by His name are actually family? Do we really believe that we are to share with others what the Lord has given to us? Do we really believe that Kingdom money spent on necessities like evening lodging while at a Convention could be better spent on other things?

By the way, our kids are watching... and every time we as their parents invite in a stranger - and we prepare the house and change the sheets and run the vacuum and set out the towels - they are seeing the Body of Christ in action. And so it is even on the other end, when we come home with tales of the house we stayed in... a home belonging to one who was a stranger on Thursday afternoon, a new friend by Thursday night, but a brother all along.

Thank you, Rick, for serving the Lord by serving us. May we ever be open to doing the same!

Tea and Haiti

It is a quiet Sunday morning, and I am up before my kids. The sun is filtering through the window over my shoulder in a delicious way, and I am sipping on a cup of tea lovingly prepared for me by my husband. I love being up in the early-morning quiet. The Lord seems nearer when we are still. "Be still, and know that I am God." Yes, Lord. Thank you for these times.

I also love having a cup of tea... the feel of the warm mug in my hands (even on a hot morning, like today), the sense of the "earthiness" when you breathe in the smell as it comes close to your nose and mouth, the surprise of what "flavor" I've been made on any given morning or evening. I love black teas, herbal teas, exotic white or green or red teas... we have quite a collection, and I love every one of them.

This morning I've been praying for some dear friends who are heading to the mission field. They are currently living life in preparation for their future long-term "heading to the mission field" as he completes a medical residency here in the US. But they are now - more immediately - preparing for a short-term "heading" next month, to Haiti. I've been both convicted and encouraged by my friend's words in a letter she sent last week:

Lord willing, one day after residency, we hope to transplant ourselves longterm. And then I think, my life will be basically similar to what it looks like now. The way I do my work and the way we get our food and all may be quite different!!! But essentially, I'll still be a stay-at-home mother/wife. "Ministry" there will be much like it is here. I'll visit with other moms (maybe more unbelieving moms then) and maybe teach a music class or two for moms and their children. In essence though, we just move our life to a different culture. I won't all of a sudden start working outside the home to "minister." I am fully content in the calling of motherhood as I feel it now. My little ones are my ministry and my greatest mission field. SO With that mindset, I go to Haiti. We go as a family because we need the "practice" and the perspective. We need to see and hear and smell first-hand the desperate poverty of the two-thirds world as a family to renew our long-term vision.

Another reason we feel called to go AS A FAMILY is that we firmly believe that people need to see Christ-centered families. Husbands who love their wives with the Love of Christ, wives who honor their husbands with Christ-like submission, children who are learning the Word and how to pray. With so many single parents, children on the streets fending for themselves, orphans, God's plan for marriage and family needs to be witnessed. The cycle of dysfunction needs to be broken! One way we believe that can be challenged is by the sincere testimony of a family living together for the Lord --with all our flaws and failures --trusting in the blood of Jesus to cover our sins! That's true in the first world and the third!!

Her heart echoes mine; her desires parallel mine. I long to live in such a way - here, there, and everywhere - that we as a family challenge the contemporary life of frenzy and emptiness that so many are caught in... families who aren't really families at all, but merely resentful strangers living under the same roof - if they're still doing even that. I believe Christ redeems us and our lives and the world around us. I believe He is the answer for the pit that is divorce and pornography and teenage sexuality and rampant materialism and American isolationism and, and, and...

Oh, come, Lord Jesus! Keep us from complacency and disengagement because we've bought the lie that to live in grace means not to fight, not to labor, not to engage and confront and challenge the world and its worldliness - both within and without - with a bold humility, a humble boldness. Give us tenacity to fight the fight with our own flesh, and to love others enough to give them the hope of the gospel of grace, which we snuggle into, rest in, hope in, live. Teach us what it means to be "in the world but not of it," neither retreating from the world nor becoming indistinct from it.

Come, Lord Jesus! Impact Haiti because my friends have walked there. Impact Hampton Roads because we live here...

"Charm is deceitful..."

"... and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised." - Proverbs 31:30

The Distortion of Beauty

A Red Letter Day

I must write and say that today was a day for the history books! I passed my eldest daughter in the hall today, and in her arms was a basket of her clean clothes. She had taken them upstairs to the laundry room, washed them, put them in the dryer, gotten them out of the dryer, and was now taking them back downstairs to be put away - all without being asked! (Normally she is invited to put her clothes in the family baskets to be washed with all the rest.)

After a few high fives and some mock cheering, I went on to genuinely thank her very much for taking such initiative, and for being so helpful. How was I blessed with such great kids?!

Now if we can just get my son to notice when the trash needs to go out...

Conifer Climbing

Below is a "guest post" from my oldest daughter, EV. She posted this on what was then the "kids' blog," which has turned into her brother PT's blog since she and her sister OG only posted a couple of things. I like the things they posted, however, so I've preserved them here...

I had my 14th birthday a few weeks ago, and we went camping. It was so fun! We arrived at the Shenandoah National Park in the late afternoon, and after another hour or so of driving to the campground, set up camp. There was this conifer tree in our site, and we had a great time seeing who could get the highest. The branches were growing so close together (especially toward the top) that we could only get so high, but once you stopped climbing and actually sat still, you could feel the tree literally swaying in the wind.

After screaming your pleasure of this windy phenomenon at the top of your lungs down to the family (and the rest of the campground) far below, you would start to feel a little disconcerted. You can't really help it, seeing as you're almost to the top of the tree, and you're seeing the top of the mountains in the distance, and there is a strong breeze swaying the tree you're sitting on, and you have images of the whole tree snapping and falling on top of you. I sure skedaddled out of the tree when my imagination got the better of me.

The next day, I woke up to the smell of pancakes and eggs and bacon sizzling on the open fire. After breakfast (and a brief nap), we went hiking. We were gone practically all afternoon, and arrived to our "home" just in time to have bread and cheese and apples for dinner. - 'ding 1

Hmmm...

I'm no mindless fan of Doug Wilson. I think some of what he says is right on, and some of what he says scares me to death because it is so crazy. That said, I've stumbled upon an interesting quotation as I continue to ponder this issue of forgiveness and relationship.

“We want comfort for being losers rather than forgiveness for being sinners because forgiveness brings in its train the demand for change.” - Doug Wilson

Forgiveness

"It's very simple," Herkimer told her. "To turn an enemy into a friend, all you have to do is love him."

"Love him? Are you sure? That doesn't sound easy at all. That sounds terribly difficult to me," Annabelle said.

"Oh, it is difficult, " Herkimer agreed. "Probably one of the most difficult things in the world. But I said it was simple, not easy."

From The Tale of Annabelle Hedgehog. Published by Lion Publishing, Batavia, Illinois. Copyright 1990 by Stephen Lawhead.
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Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
- Matthew 18:21
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I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down; you know, they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you, baby; life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby

I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if, you don't love me

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again

I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore
Forgiveness

From "The Heart of the Matter," Don Henley, 1989, The End of the Innocence

Listen and watch here

The Singing Revolution

The first time I met my future mother-in-law (who at the time was just the mother of a guy I thought was neat), she handed me a "Free the Baltics" button. She was (and still is) a beautiful woman, all the more charming for her Estonian accent when she spoke. And she was passionate about Estonian independence.

I had moved past the, "Where is Estonia again?" question by the time I met her. I had, after all, asked the neat guy with the weird name where he was from; been told, "Jersey;" and pressed further to get at the true ethnic origins of his unusual name. Then I'd had to go find my map...

But I had not even tapped into the fierce "ethnic pride" that is characteristic of these people. (His Swiss German father didn't have a chance, although Iivo did become fluent in both "extra" languages growing up.)

Now there is a chance that you can learn a bit more of their story yourself. You can see the trailer for the film here: http://www.singingrevolution.com/

Poetry Time

This morning, we're off to a poetry recitation for homeschoolers. Over the past couple of weeks, each of the four kids have been memorizing a poem to be delivered before an audience this morning. I love these sorts of opportunities, and I am thankful for the homeschooling parents who take time to organize them.

EL was having a little trouble keeping her poem straight, so I asked Iivo if we could make a recording of my reading it so she could listen on the ipod and practice it that way. He said yes, and early one morning in our "noise room" upstairs, I hastily read the poem into a boom microphone (complete with headphones on... picture those video clips you see of famous actors when they're doing the "voices" for some animated film). The first time I listened to it with EL, this is the unexpected surprise we heard:


The poem being read is excerpted from "Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out," Where the Sidewalk Ends, copyright 1974 by Shel Silverstein, published by Harper & Row

The Great Floral Exchange

Here's the lone blossom on the new flower we got when we traded in the passion flower. Since we posted a picture of the passion flower we didn't keep, I figured I should post one of the clematis flower we did keep.

Hopefully it will take to its new home and continue to bloom for us even this year.

Walking home through the park that is our backyard this weekend, we noticed some lovely vines growing on (and through) a neighbor's fence. One was a lovely, aromatic jasmine vine. The other? The highly exotic and purportedly very invasive passion flower! It looked just like the one we returned to the nursery on Saturday. We will have fun watching to see what the vigilant growth of that plant looks like in practice... in someone else's yard!

East of Eden

I know it sounds crazy, but I love weeding. Yes, it is tedious, and no, I never have time enough to do it as well as it should be done, but when I get the opportunity to be alone with my thoughts while I'm doing it, I really love it.

Today it was sunny and breezy and beautiful. It was actually a pleasure sitting outside - on the edge of our flower beds - ripping and pulling at the "thorns and thistles" that were growing, unwelcome, there. I had some uninterrupted time to think... and muse... and pray through some of the current situations in my life. The Lord and I had a lovely couple of hours together.

But I realized, as I spent the afternoon sweating and dirtying my hands, that I enjoyed it on another level beyond that one. There is beauty, and power, and pleasure, I think, in the joining of the work of redemption - even at the smallest and most insignificant of levels. My flower bed looks beautiful now whereas this morning it was riddled with weeds. I have made a difference in the direction of redemption, however small and silly it may be in the grand scheme of things.

I have a friend who claims to love to iron clothes... for much the same reasons, I think.

As I pulled out each weed (or as she irons out each wrinkle), I was able to observe the progress of beauty... the defeat of disorder and ugliness. It was gratifying in its own right, yes. But it was also a spiritual allegory for me.

From Colossians 3: "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ..

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

"Instructions for Holy Living," my Bible calls this section. And in it I am told how I am able to cooperate with the Holy Spirit as He works in my life, seeing the ugly parts challenged and removed as the lovely parts are nourished and grown. Yes, the dumb "weeds" of my life will be back again tomorrow, but for today they have been held just a little at bay... at least partly redeemed by a Redeemer who loves to beautify His children. And what glorious news that I don't have to do this myself, but that I can "be confident of this, that he who began a good work in me will be faithful to carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6)!

Until that day, I'll just keep weeding...

(Colossians 3:5-17, from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973,1978,1984 by International Bible Society. Co-published by Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, and B.B. Kirkbride Bible Co, Inc., Indianapolis, IN).

The Many Versions of Me

I was reading recently--in the newest "Rough Guide"--about America. One of the things they said was this:

And for all of its pride and bluster, the USA can be a land of quiet nuances: snow falling on a country lane in Vermont, cherry trees blooming under Washington memorials, crocodiles swimming through the bayou. You could easily plan a trip that focuses on the out-of-the-way hamlets, remote wilderness, eerie ghost towns, and forgotten byways that are every bit as "American" as its showpiece icons and monuments. Putting aside the sheer size of the place, deciding exactly what version of America you want to see, may be the hardest decision of all.
(You are reading content from The Rough Guide to the USA.)

Reading that has gotten me thinking, and not necessarily about the United States itself. I'm intrigued by that final sentence. "Deciding exactly what version of America you want to see may be the hardest decision of all." I think it is true of people even more than it is of countries.

What exactly do I mean? I don't really know, but I've been noticing something...

Last week I received an email from a friend whom I haven't been able to see for a while. At the end of it, she directed me to her family's blog. (It seems that everyone has a blog these days, and I love keeping up with folks this way. It is especially handy when they are in another state, or even another country, and hopes of actually seeing them anytime soon are rather slim.)

One thing I'm realizing, as I keep my own little "private" blog, is that I often have a desire to let someone know about it. Some particular something I've posted is something I want some particular person to see... the heartening sermon excerpt for the discouraged friend, the fun vacation photos for the distant grandparent, the link to the challenging and thought-provoking website for the youth group leader, even just the daily humdrum of life for those who love us very much and are the only ones who might care to read such things...

This morning, even, as I taught children's church, I had a desire to tell them I would record the scripture memory song I was teaching them and post it on my blog so they could go listen to it during the week and learn it more easily.

The "problem," I'm realizing, is that we have many selves... different personae we adopt for interacting with different folks. It isn't necessarily that we have different selves, per se, so much as that we reserve a view of many of the aspects of our true self for those few who are closest to us... or maybe that we change which dimensions of ourselves we choose to present, depending on the context of the interaction and the persons involved.

This is especially true of someone like me. I am frequently accused of being intimidating. I am often referred to as very intense, very deep, very pensive. Some who know me love this aspect of my personality, and intend it as the highest compliment. Others who know me have broken off friendship with me because it was "just too much," and they want simpler, shallower, "nicer," less exhausting.

And so, even when we consider ourselves to be persons who are very vulnerable, very "real," very willing to share whatever we're dealing with freely and openly, we find ourselves in many relationships that are not on a level that can handle that... or that even want to. There are those--particularly family members whom we rarely see--who don't even understand half of what we're talking about when we're "waxing philosophical." And we don't really "get them," either, or half the choices they make, so we just don't interact on those levels.

"Smiles, everyone, smiles" as the Fantasy Island guy used to say.

And there is, of course, a reason for the age-old adage to "never discuss religion or politics." Those who are relationally savvy keep quiet when the topics may be sensitive, stay mum when the implications of the topics may potentially offend, share certain dimensions of themselves but not others when doing so will keep everyone comfortable and happy. We do so with varying degrees of comfort, and we do so with differing levels of satisfaction and pleasure, but we do it almost unconsciously, without even realizing we're doing it half the time.

And so, the idea of actually publishing your blog and letting people know about it becomes intimidating. If you are open with your true self--all your true "selves"---on your blog, then there are those you know who may read your blog and freak out. And so, a little while after publishing it, you may end up halting discussion of the meaningful or the thought-provoking, and the blog becomes a handy place to share photos and cute stories, but nothing more.

"Deciding exactly what version you want to see may be the hardest decision of all."

That, and deciding exactly what version you want to show.

Our Passion Flower

Our passion flower has bloomed! This is what its lone blossom looks like.

The "vine expert" at the nursery said it will grow anywhere, and is the most invasive flowering vine you can plant. He warned that it would eventually grow to fifty feet and beyond, taking over houses, telephone poles, trees, fences, or whatever it happens to touch. It does not die back in the winter, just goes brown and dormant and then gets going again where it left off come spring.

The clematis, on the other hand, grows to only about six feet, then dies back each winter to the ground; it emerges again come spring. This sounds a bit more like what we are looking for in our little garden plot. I will take the kids with me to pick out the one they want, and we will try to plant it this weekend.

Happy Mother's Day to me all over again!

What is laminin?

This morning I received an email that led me on a Google search, which led me to this. Here it is, in case you haven't seen it yet.
Louie Giglio sermon excerpt

Oops!

Today I made a discovery.

Passion flower:









Clematis:






It would seem that the woman at the Blue Ridge Mountain Pottery, who told my daughter and husband what that lovely purple vining flower on her fence was called, was wrong! (How cute they were trying to find out the name of that plant even then, so they could get me one...)

So I am now the proud owner of the crazy paramecium-looking, spaceship-resembling "passion flower" instead of the clematis they had thought they were getting. (Ours has buds, but had yet to bloom when they purchased it, and still has not done so.)

From Wikipedia: "Passion" does not refer to love, but to the Passion of Christ on the cross. In the 15th and 16th centuries, Spanish Christian missionaries discovered this flower and adopted its unique physical structures as symbols of Crucifixion. For example: the radial filaments which can number more than a hundred and vary from flower to flower represent the Crown of Thorns. The ten petals and sepals represent the ten faithful apostles. The top 3 stigmata represent the 3 nails and the lower 5 anthers represent the 5 wounds. The flower has been given names related to this symbolism throughout Europe since that time. In Spain it is known as Espina de Cristo (Christ's Thorn).

Well, that's cool and all, but the fact that large carpenter bees are needed just to pollinate the thing will likely keep it from being practical in our little home garden. Let's hope the nursery will take it back or exchange it!