Some of the Psychological Pieces of the Puzzle

The Change That Changes Everything, Part 6

As I’ve mentioned before, I began this eating plan as a trial run, “just to see what happens” and to see if it would help with my horrible chronic pain. I did not set out to change the way I ate forever. In fact, when I first began eating this way, I literally could not even allow myself to think about “regular food” (i.e. the foods I used to eat). I would dismiss out of hand any thought that popped into my head of former treasured foods—pizza, I’m looking at you!—or of any idea that this would be a lifetime change. I just couldn’t “go there.”

Every day, I would plan for the day at hand, and tell myself, “I can eat this way today.” It was literally one day at a time. 

I also found myself struggling desperately with other psychological aspects to this new way of eating. Here they are, in no particular order:

1) “I can eat this way today.”

This was by far the biggest psychological hurdle. You can’t think about forever. You can’t plan for a lifetime of eating this way. Just do today. The todays will add up until you’ve completed your trial period—however long you gave yourself initially to see if you notice any differences that make you want to continue. For some, it was a month, for some three months. So far, we’ve all made the switch and just continued eating this way, never to stop. But it is because we don’t want to go back. If you complete your trial, and then you want to go back to eating your old way, that’s perfectly your choice. It won’t hurt anything to have eaten mostly vegetables for a few months!

2) “I don’t want to be ‘that person’!”

This was (and is) a big one for me. I feel dumb being the person who needs a special diet… who eats weird at potlucks and parties and wedding receptions (if she eats at all!)… who takes her own food places… who can’t come to your house for dinner… who is asking about the gluten-free and vegan sections of the menu at a restaurant. (Note: It is challenging to eat this way at a restaurant, but not impossible—and you almost certainly have to fudge on the no-processed-oil part, even if you find places that you can have mostly whole foods that come from plants. But during the Very Difficult First Three Weeks—that initial period when you can’t get your bearings or figure out how you’re going to cook this way Every. Single. Day.—we relied heavily on a trip to Moe’s or Cava to get us through some days!)

3) “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I find myself caught in this near schizophrenic place, between wanting to never, ever talk about this, hoping no one ever asks me, especially in front of others… and wanting to tell everyone I know, because I’m convinced they’ll feel better and be healthier if they make this switch. But I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. I don’t want them to roll their eyes at me… to think ”she’s talking about that again,” or “Laurie is at it again with something weird,” or “I bet she’s judging me.” (For the record, I’m not judging you! After all, you’re the one eating conventionally, and I’m the one doing the next weird, counter-cultural thing!) I don’t want to bring it up to people because I don’t want them to think in any way that I think they should be eating this way, too. I totally respect your decision to eat however you want to, and to do so without thinking that I’m judging you for not eating "my" way. But if I think it would help you with some pain or physical issue you’re having, it is hard not to want to tell you! 

That's why I've written these blog posts. Now I can "tell you," without telling you in person, and you can read or not read based on your own interest. Feel free to ask questions, of course (posting them in the comments is fine), but I'm trying to give answers to folks' questions—as they pose them to me—in the blog posts themselves.

4) "But I'm a good cook!"

This one is stupid, maybe, but I'm a good cook. I've spent a lifetime honing my cooking skills, and I make delicious food. Well, delicious conventional food. This way of cooking and preparing food is totally different, and it is totally outside of my element. I am no longer a "good cook" in the same way I was. I feel like I'm having to learn all kinds of new ways of cooking now,.. and even so, it is quite probable that only other whole food/plant-based eaters will find the new foods utterly delicious. This may be, for me, nothing more than the death of some worldly pride, but it is real nevertheless, and it is inextricably bound with the next one...

5) "But we feed people!"

There's a sign on my fridge that says, "Food is our love language," and it's the truth. For years, a significant part of the way I care for and love people has been to feed them... to cook for them... to have them over and fellowship over a shared meal. Things that are sometimes challenging for others were easy for me: cooking for a crowd, inviting people into your home even if it isn't spotless or the meal is simple fare. This is an entirely different skill set, and I am still—to this day (four months in now)—finding it challenging to cook for a crowd this way. It is expensive to buy organic produce. It is time-consuming to chop all the vegetables... and it takes a lot of vegetables! I'm sure this will get easier as I get more experienced with it, but it is a very real piece of the puzzle for me at this point.

6) "My face is kind of saggy now."

This is a piece that is difficult to share (because I feel vulnerable and silly), but there it is. If you switch to eating this way and lose a lot of weight—and if, like me, you carry a lot of weight in your face and are over the age of 50—the skin on your face and neck may sag in disconcerting ways after the weight loss. My daughters assure me that "slim and a little saggy" is far more attractive and preferable to "taut and fat," but it is still a psychological piece of it for me. I do, however, feel far more attractive, slim...saggy skin notwithstanding.

Read Part 7, Let's Hear From Some Experts

NOTE: The information provided on the site is for educational purposes only, and does not substitute for professional medical advice. You should consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if you’re seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. I am not a medical professional or healthcare provider, and I have no professional medical, nutritional, or dietary credentials. You yourself are responsible for any risks or issues associated with using or acting upon any information or advice appearing on this site. 

Start the story at the beginning with Part 1.

Getting Started with Only Notes from a Phone Call (and a Word About the Weight Loss Piece)

The Change That Changes Everything, Part 5

“What is the name of the program?” This is probably the first thing I get asked most of the time. There is no single “program.”  There is no one book to read that tells you exactly what to do in order to start eating this way. 

I began this whole thing “cold,” before I had read any of the books I have since read about this way of eating. I called my friend Gloria and had a phone call with her about how she applies this way of eating. (This is the mother of my friend with rheumatoid arthritis who has “managed her symptoms away” with this way of eating.) Gloria is a bit "free-er" and “looser” with it than Rachel is, because she can afford to be. She’s thrilled with how much better she feels, all the weight she lost (and kept off), and all the energy she has. (Even in her 70s she’s still working full time!)

NOTE: Gloria and Rachel each shared with me, as a friend, her own dietary practices. Neither was offering medical advice or making any health claims for me to follow, nor am I doing so by sharing the conversations here with you  Always consult your physician before making any health, dietary, or nutrition decisions for yourself and your family  

That said, I offer you my notes from those first phone calls:

GLORIA'S WAY

(She’s a little more liberal and “free” with it than Rachel is.)

Lost 40 pounds (and 5 clothing sizes) and then leveled out and stayed steady

He husband “cheats” at times but mostly eats what she does and has lost 50 pounds. 

NO DEPRIVATION: "Gloria's rule" is eat all you want, whenever you want, from this list

GLORIA EATS:

• All fruit you want anytime
• All veggies you want anytime
• Grains of any kind (except wheat)
• Legumes of any kind
• Nothing with a face or a mother
• No oils of any kind
• No nuts or avocados until you hit your base weight
• No dairy
• No sugar
• No processed or pre-packaged foods

HER USUAL BREAKFAST:

Fresh green juice (celery, cucumbers, lemon, Granny Smith apple, fresh pineapple)

Turmeric root, ginger root (shot)

Oatmeal (with raisins, apple, blueberry)

Side of “larger” fruit (mango, melon, etc.)

Snacks: banana, apple, or grapes whenever she gets hungry

HER USUAL DINNER:

Big green salad w/vinegar (no oil)

Also another dish (grains, veggies, soup, etc.)

HELPFUL PRACTICES:

• Keep prepared dishes in the fridge (veggie soup, one-dish vegan meals)
• Beans—freeze 2 C. in quart baggies
• “The Senate Soup” online but without the ham hock
• Stay proactive with purchasing and pre-cooking
• Clean sweep all forbidden ingredients out of the house
• Order legumes from nuts.com
• Don’t think of what you can’t eat, but focus on what you can have
• Vegan Thanksgiving: Rachel sent formal invitation, sent everyone a recipe card and asked each person to triple it—best family Thanksgiving they’d ever had (all agreed)
• Order Seitenbachen and Rapunzel veggie broth powder online
• Vegan recipes on the internet 
• Coconut aminos, tamari sauce, delicious natural vinegars
• Seasonello salt
• Kroger Italian cut beans frozen
• Gourmet olive oil/vinegar store for natural vinegars (apricot is her fav)
• “How Not to Diet” cookbook

Book: How to Reverse and Prevent Heart Disease (Esselstyn)

RACHEL'S WAY

Wheelchair-bound w/rheumatoid arthritis and could not walk unassisted by crutches or go up and down stairs. 

Substantial turnaround in 6 months

Absolutely pain-free after 3 years

JUST KEEP GOING! Take the long view. This is a new lifestyle. It is not about self-control. Get rid of all food temptations for anything you aren’t allowed to have. 

• Whole food, plant-based diet versus “vegan” (which usually includes processed “substitutes” for animal foods)
• Only single-ingredient foods
• Absolutely no oils ever!
• No pharmaceuticals at all
• NO carrageenan, soy lecithin, other additives—and most allergy substitutes (like store-bought oat milk or non-dairy “cheese”) have these
• No nuts or avocado until you stop losing weight and level out (your “base weight”)
• Eat 2-3 meals per day (for her, at 9,12,4... doesn’t eat past 5 pm)
• Eat to about 2/3 full—never stuff yourself!
• Tu/Th/Su take digestive rest after lunch (skip third meal)
• No snacking between meals 
• Clint Paddison TED talk 
• Take own food to eating events
• Take kombucha, broth to events after 5 pm and don’t eat
• Be a little hungry by bedtime
• Go to bed by 9 pm (9-12 body repair is most important)
• Plant-based diet will be sufficient for health needs of both kids and adults
• Soup, p. 133 of “Oh She Glows” vegan cookbook
• Any vegan recipes, just skip the oils (leave them out) and double the spices
• Never deprive yourself in the morning—It’s not about willpower! You’ll fail with “decision fatigue” over the course of the day
• Do a clean sweep of all no-no’s!
• Go to bed hungry. Do the hard work of being hungry overnight
• Weight loss not swift (1-2 pounds a week average, but not in a straight line). Metabolism adjusts and makes decisions 
• Body does repair at night when you’re sleeping but not expending energy digesting
• Only eat when hungry
• Never allow other family members to bring non-allowed foods into the house
• For her, weight and “body image” self-esteem is no longer an issue at all, mentally—she likes that now, she just never thinks about it, like it’s a non issue

Books How Not to Die and How Not to Diet (Gregor)

So those are the notes from my two phone calls from those women. I have since read many books and watched several documentaries, but initially that's all I had to go on. It was enough!

A WORD ABOUT THE WEIGHT-LOSS PIECE

At four different junctures in my life, I have taken a period of time (from one month to four) and utilized NutriSystem or Jenny Craig food to lose significant amounts of weight. Every time, slowly over time, I gained the weight back when I went back to regular eating. That program, and others like it, are very expensive. They do work to help you lose some weight initially, but it is very challenging to keep the weight off. I cannot in good conscience recommend them for someone looking to lose weight and keep it off.

For me (and everyone I have mentioned that I know personally who has made this change to whole food, plant-based eating), the weight loss has been incidental and not the purpose or point of doing it. The weight loss happens automatically, without your trying to lose weight, and without your being hungry. 

Rachel speaks of a "base weight," which is the weight your body "chooses" for you, meaning that you simply stop losing weight anymore even though you're eating the exact same foods in the exact same quantities (which is as much as you want)! This "base weight" is usually the weight you were while in high school or college, before the typical American weight gain of adulthood began for you. 

I cannot speak to what happens if you go back to the standard American diet after losing weight eating this way. None of us have done it, because none of us want to go back to eating that way once we've made the switch! For Rachel and Gloria, it has been years. For my husband and me, it has been months. (Edited to add: Well, now it’s been several years for us, too. Still same weight. Still never hungry. Still no pain.)

People also ask a lot of questions about the initial week of water fasting, and about the books I've read about this way of eating, so a future post will be about that.

Read Part 6, Some of the Psychological Pieces of the Puzzle

NOTE: The information provided on the site is for educational purposes only, and does not substitute for professional medical advice. You should consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if you’re seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. I am not a medical professional or healthcare provider, and I have no professional medical, nutritional, or dietary credentials. You yourself are responsible for any risks or issues associated with using or acting upon any information or advice appearing on this site. 

Start the story at the beginning with Part 1.

Now Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding

This post was almost called "Now Bring Us Some Piggy Pudding," but I decided that the following lyrical interaction (from one of my favorite Christmas albums of all time, John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together) didn't really qualify it as an official "line from a Christmas song":

All, singing merrily: "Now bring us some figgy pudding, now bring us..."
Miss Piggy, interrupting and indignant: "PIGGY pudding?!!"
Muppet response (if I were really good I'd know who it is--maybe Gonzo?):"No, FIGGY pudding.  It's made with figs."
Miss Piggy: "Oh."
Gonzo: "...and bacon!"
Miss Piggy: "What?"

You'll notice that the words, "Now bring us some piggy pudding" are never really actually uttered, and so I can't swipe it as a legitimate title for my blog post.

I've never actually eaten figgy pudding, so it's not much of an actual temptation to me, but it was obviously a delicious, treasured Christmas treat to lead folks to the infamous, "We won't go until we get some!"  And although I've not had literal figgy pudding, I have certainly eaten my share of delicious-holiday-foods-we-can't-do-without... more than my share, actually, which has been the problem.

This past 4th of July we returned home from what had amounted to a couple of weeks of fun feasting with both sides of our family--with my sister and her family (and my parents) at her lake house in Georgia, followed in the same month by a week up north with iivo's family.  Food, food, and more (delicious!) food was served, and we all ate like little piggies!

I returned home, stepped on my scale, and nearly passed out!  The number that I saw staring back at me was shocking.  Oh, I knew my clothes were especially tight.  I knew my face looked especially bloated. I knew that I'd been steadily gaining around five pounds every summer we'd done this, for years now (and another five-ish every "holiday season," too, if truth be told).  But something about seeing that number--that number that was up in the range of what my husband has weighed... that was larger than anything I'd ever come close to weighing, even when I was pregnant... that was dangerously close to pushing a tenth of a ton (gasp!)...

Well, I freaked out.  My weighing 178 pounds was simply not something I was willing to let continue. (Yes, it took me quite a bit of debating with myself to decide if I was going to post that number.  To some--as it did to me--it will seem shockingly high; to others, who are also larger-than-they-probably-should-be, it may seem discouragingly small.)  But it was my wake-up number, and when I saw it, I began to develop a plan for losing weight.  (This was my wake-up picture, too.  It was taken just before we left Massachusetts for home.  I'm the one on the top left of the picture--to my son's right--wearing a green and blue top and "looking a little chunky," as my kids say now.)

[At this point I should mention that I had made a deal last Christmas with my sister-in-law that our gift to each other this year would be that we would each try to lose 25 pounds.  My July-4th weigh-in was nearly ten pounds MORE than I had weighed at my January-1st weigh-in!  I was moving in the wrong direction!]

The first few pounds--those post-piggy-vacation ones that are really usually "overindulgence pounds" and not real, permanent weight gain--came off rather easily with just a return to eating moderately.  A couple more came off with the introduction of some strategic eliminations--sweet treats, junky snacks, flavored beverages--and eating smaller portions.  But beyond that, I was stuck.  I had tried to lose weight before, several times, without much success on my own.  After six pounds I stalled, and I knew that something more was needed to jump start me into serious weight loss.  I decided to pull out the big guns--a lifetime membership to Jenny Craig that I'd bought on the super-cheap a million years ago when I'd had to lose ten pounds FAST to fit into a bridesmaid dress that I'd outgrown between the fitting and the arrival!  Jenny Craig had had a "lose ten pounds free" promotion, where you just paid for food but got the rest of the benefits thrown in, and I'd jumped on it to lose ten pounds fast and fit back in the dress.  It worked, and after that month, they offered me some ridiculously cheap deal for a "free lifetime membership."  I was newly married, still relatively slim, and pre-children, but I decided to purchase it "just in case I ever need it some day when I'm older and have had kids and have gained a few pounds."  Well, praise the foresight!

I nervously called them, not sure how the, "Um, I bought a lifetime membership about twenty-five years ago that I've never used.  I don't have any paperwork or anything.  You wouldn't happen to have a record of it, would you?" spiel would go over.   Well, hooray for the woman whose job it was to enter all the pre-Internet-days folders into the computer system over the years, because there I was!

I must point out that there's nothing "free" about losing weight with Jenny Craig, even if you don't have to pay for the other parts of the program!  The food is very expensive.  However, it is pretty tasty, surprisingly satisfying, and it works!  I spent a small fortune jump-starting things in this way, but I lost twenty pounds in two months by exercising daily (until I broke my tailbone in late August) and by using the Jenny Craig program.  (My first weigh-in with them was 171.8 on 7/25.  My last weigh-in with them was 151.8 on 10/5.)

At that point we really, truly did run out of money for buying Jenny Craig food, so I went off the program and began to eat all "regular" (i.e. non-Jenny-Craig) food.  Having lost about 25 pounds total, and with the holidays coming up, my goal was no longer weight loss but maintenance.  (I knew I wouldn't succeed in the "lose 25 pounds" deal I'd made with my sister-in-law, since I'd turned it into a "lose 35 pounds" deal for myself by gaining ten pounds after the official starting weigh-in!)  And I knew I wouldn't likely lose weight over the holidays--especially without Jenny Craig and without an ability to work out since the broken tailbone in August.  So, I shifted my official goal to maintenance and told my Jenny Craig counselor I'd check-in for a weigh-in after the holidays.

I am pleased to say that I have pretty much achieved that goal. In fact, this morning I stepped on the scale and weighed in at 150.2.  (Don't think this means that I lost another couple of pounds--those are just the couple of pounds that my clothes weigh when I weigh-in at the Jenny Craig center. No naked, first-morning weigh-ins there! ;)

So, even through the "piggy pudding" of the past three months, I have kept off the pounds I lost!  Come next week, I'd like to start losing again.  My original goal--the "we'll see how I feel once I get there" weight that seems so far off at the start--was to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight (which has long been forgotten but which was somewhere below 140 pounds).  The Jenny Craig lady said, "Well, then how about 139?  That's a nice round number."  And so it is.

139, here I come!  After that?  Well, we'll see how I feel once I get there!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By the way, my successful maintenance has survived the following food festivities over the past three months:

October
* Halloween candy, which somehow always manages to make its way into our home even though we don't go trick-or-treating

November
* November's two birthdays--my mother's and EL's--complete with the requested banana cream pie and cheesecake, respectfully
* another cheesecake, since the first one was "not quite right"
* The annual traditional pre-Thanksgiving Popeye's feast that my sister-in-law picks up on the way into town (think spicy fried chicken, biscuits, dirty rice, broccoli-grape salad, cole slaw, and--yes, you guessed it--cheesecake!)
* Thanksgiving and its glorious carb-heavy feast--complete with two turkeys, two kinds of potatoes, two kinds of bread, two kinds of stuffing, a gazillion side dishes, and two kinds of pie--pecan and pumpkin, with fresh whipped cream, thank-you-very-much

December
* Iivo's birthday in early December--There was some sort of yummy dessert that I'm not remembering right now. (I only remember that I refused to make a third cheesecake within a month!)
* Christmas treats from my students, EV's students, the kids' friends, and Iivo's co-workers... This is its own line item because it is a huge (and delicious!) category and this year's offerings took up the entire surface of the glass table in the kitchen!
* The annual traditional Christmas Eve dinner, consisting of multiple Chinese dishes, served family-style around the big round table at the local Chinese restaurant (See here for more on how that--and other bizarre--Christmas traditions came to be.)
* The Christmas feast (at my mom's house and prepared exclusively by her this year since we were doing surgery)--ham, warm potato salad, green beans, cranberry salad, rolls, and--again!--two pies with whipped cream
* various "popcorn movie nights," which bear mentioning since there have been lots of them (yay Christmas movies!), since I hardly like to watch a movie without popcorn, and since our popcorn is popped in oil and loaded with lots of real melted butter!  (Jenny Craig suggests a cup of plain air-popped popcorn.  Um, no.)
* a wedding reception, at which I consumed too much tasty food and punch and wedding cake

Yum!!  Three months of feasting!  It was all delicious, I skipped none of it (though I did try to be somewhat moderate) and I managed to keep the weight I've lost off.  Now let's see how I survive the New Year's Eve snacks that will arrive at my house tomorrow night!